An Allegory In a place long By Lou Gutheil ago and a time far away on the planet c 7. 4 Salvagio where all 7? the natives were so cannibals, a small : th. ~ Mim group of citizens determined that they might be able to make a decent living remanufacturing bicycles. They gath- ered up old, worthless, discarded bi- cycles. They disassembled them, cleaned the good parts, added some new parts, and reformed them into other bicycles, unicycles and tricycles. They called the one-wheeled versions “economy models” and the three- wheeled versions “heavy duty.” The bicycles were advertised as “just like OE.” These cannibal reclaimers came to be known by the shortened terms “rebuilders” or the more politically cor- rect “recyclers.” Once it was evident that the origi- nal group had enjoyed some reason- able success, others decided to join their ranks. This was the beginning of what appeared to be a never-ending cycle of business battles and games as each recycler attempted to pedal his recycled cycles to a clientele that was more than happy to acquire a “good as new” bike for a less than new price. Some of the more artistic recyclers tried to introduce a “pop cycle,” but, although it was well-received in warm climates, it was largely ignored in the colder regions. Meeting with limited success, but having come to enjoy the warmer climes, they decided to try recy-cling water by freezing it and add- ing color and flavoring. They decided to keep the brand name, which we know today as Popcycles, or the ab- errant version, Popsicles. But that’s another story. One particularly clever individual who had closely studied the cycle of supply and demand figured out one day that the old, worthless bicycles had only been worthless ifno one wanted them. The simple fact that recyclers actually wanted old bicycles meant that they had become old, worth-something bicycles. If this guy could get into the act as a finder and keeper of old bi- cycles, and as long as the demand for old cycles was greater than the sup- ply, there would be even more money to be made. Eventually he figured out that if he could obtain all the old bi- cycles, he could name his price. He was a very easy man to spot as he drove around on only the best and newest bicycles. Then there were the advertising wars as each tried to eat the other’s lunch (or the other for lunch). Some said, ““We Build Bigger Bikes. Bigger Bikes are Better Bikes.” These were former jocks and supporters who had a major machismo problem. There were the ones who didn’t really do anything to the old cycles other than clean them and repaint them. These were sold as “Good as New.” Who knew? Because there weren’t enough old cycles from which to cycle old parts to make recycled cycles, another man started selling new parts that could be combined with the old parts to make better recycled cycles. This meant that the recyclers could sometimes, know- ingly or not, build completely new cycles and sell them as recycled cycles just to keep the pipeline full. They did what? NOVEMBER, 1999 When competition began to get stiffer, the cycle parts suppliers who supplied only to recyclers, tried a couple of different techniques to gain business. One method was to sell some cycle parts to new cycle makers. This way they could advertise themselves as particularly qualified to make and sell new cycle parts to cycle recyclers. It was rarely understood by the recy- clers that the new cyclers would not allow the cycle parts sellers to sell the exact same parts to the recyclers. So the parts maker continued to create the illusion that “‘our parts (implying ‘all our parts’) are OE quality.” What a ruse! The parts guys sometimes subcon- tracted some parts to other cannibals in other countries who would produce the parts cheaper because they told their workers to stop complaining about their measly pay checks and lousy working conditions or they would be eaten. This came to be known as “benefits.” The subcontractors origi- nally tried to talk the workers into be- lieving that working was a “perq.” Unfortunately, the workers ran off be- cause they thought that the big canni- bals said “perks” and that sounded a lot like hot water—something they were not about to get into. Eventually, the cannibals started an association of recyclers. If was inno- cent enough at first. It was supposed to exist for the benefit of the recyclers. But once a cannibal, always a canni- bal. In fact, as the years went by the association realized it had to first and foremost feed itself and its staff. There are, after all, no charities among can- nibals. The association grew by hav- ing great get-togethers of cannibals where everyone would show off their cycles and cycle parts and take each other to dinner. That’s a dangerous thing to do with other cannibals! Imag- Page 1 of 2